I'm in a rather petty mood today, and since a lot of crap happened lately in terms of "Youtuber drama", I thought I would talk trash on all those people who really flubbed up this week.
1. The dog abuser: Hey Brooke Houts, if you're watching this from prison, please send me your doggo. I want a doge really badly and god knows that I could take way better care of him than you ever did. Also, please learn basic English grammar; your twitter "apology" (if one could even call it that) was so full of mistakes it honestly made me wonder if you even had anything between your ears. For instance, one of the first lines in your pity thesis was:
"I apologize to anyone who has been effected negatively by the footage."
I'm sorry, are you even literate? It's AFFECTED, not EFFECTED. Jesus Christ, my heart rate just went through the roof. Stop pumping lip injections and actually go to school, you stupid idiot.
2. Tana Mongoose and Jake Paul's wedding: I only have two things to say about this tragedy:
- If you think their "marriage" is legit, do me a favour and slap your parents for me for not raising you correctly.
- What on earth were those two hooligans wearing? Tana looked like a feathered vagina and Jake Paul looked like a trendy smooth criminal. Actually, what did I expect? All L.A. youtubers think they're fashion icons when in reality, they probably don't even know who Alexander McQueen is.
3. This one gets me angry. Dear Olivia Jade: Let me preface this by saying that I could care less about someone like you who spends her days worrying about what she will wear or which one of her Cartier rings she will put on that day. I also think its quite obvious that it takes a lot for me to hate someone. However, I am going to go against my previous two statements and say that I hope you have the most miserable of lives possible. I'm sorry, but did you actually think that you were acting tough by flipping off the media FOR ACTUALLY DOING THEIR JOB? You don't deserve your platform and you don't deserve USC. Please, I can see how insecure you are under those ten pounds of makeup you wear everyday. Oh, and to my fellow influencers supporting that insta "model": grow a brain. You are making fools out of yourself; go join the circus for Pete's sake.
4. And finally, how could I forget: the Summer Mckeen and Hannah Meloche sCaNdAL.
W H Y A R E W E S U R P R I S E D B Y A N Y O F T H I S?
It does not surprise me in the slightest that Autumn Mcqueef and Hamburger Melon are not the people they seem to be. That is literally the prerequisite to be a "dote girl". In fact, people need to be more critical of that entire "dote squad". Those are the girls who would bully me in middle school, no lie. The last thing I am going to say about this whole fiasco is simply a warning and something I hope people take away from this incident: if you have a "finsta" account, it is because you are hiding something.
Anyways, that felt good to get off my boobies. I hope you enjoyed this week's video. I'll see you next week, I love you, and I'll see you in the next one. Tootles!
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